June 2019

I posted recently on Instagram about not being able to “do it all,” but feeling like I should be able to. It’s a problem I’ve had for YEARS and had somehow convinced myself that I was the only one “failing” at everything. Or, at least, that I was “failing” worse than everyone else.

Occasionally, because I’m a maniac, I’ll sit and write out a giant list of all of the things I’m “supposed” to be doing, but not doing regularly. I include not only physical tasks, but all of the things that take up my mental energy- specifically all of the things I’m supposed to try to remember. IT IS INSANELY LONG. But it’s helpful to see it on paper. It’s like every month or so I need to see it written out to realize, “OH. This is actually impossible.”

*STRONGEST POSSIBLE DISCLAIMER* I do NOT have this figured out even a little bit. But, I am going to write a bit more about the few ways I’m working to overcome/manage/cope with this insanely-insane belief system we’ve all been tricked into subscribing to. I’ll also add:

• As usual, some of my monthly favorite things
• A *new* feature: Where to Find Me and What I’m Working On (here I’ll share any markets or shows you can catch me at that month, any podcasts I may be a guest on, and/or exclusive behind-the-scenes peeks at what I’m working on that month)

One of my biggest mantra-pet-peeves (second only to “Good Vibes Only,” whose rant I’ll save for another email) is people on social media talking about “not making excuses” for not fill in the blank (but it’s usually exercising, which seems to be the “should” I seem to take the hardest). It detrimentally enforces this idea that we all “should” be able to do it all. That if we can’t we’re simply “making excuses.” It’s enraging me just typing about it.

This is the stuff of panic attacks, friends. Believing that we should be able to do it all and that there are no acceptable excuses for not doing it all (or gloating when we haven’t “made excuses” and managed to “do it all”) is why we all feel so freaking anxious all of the time. And why, instead of listening to what my body or my heart needs on any particular day and instead of being able to prioritize the things that NEED to get done and the things I need to feel like a healthy, sane person- I feel PARALYZED and like a failure and full of self-doubt.

Here are a few things that I’m trying instead:

Seasons
I’m learning that IT’S OKAY to prioritize different things during different seasons of your life. “Seasons,” for me, can be a week, a month, a literal season, or longer. There are times where I decide to prioritize my physical health, which sometimes means eating healthier, sometimes means exercising more, sometimes means both; which usually means something else has got to give, like staying on top of home projects or keeping things tidy or having time to be creative for creativity’s sake every day.

Then there are times where I decide to prioritize my work for a while, which means I don’t always have the *incredible amount of time and energy* it seems to take to plan healthy, home-cooked meals and keep a constant stream of healthy food in the house; or “squeeze in” a workout which always inevitably leads to needing a shower, which takes longer. I just keep repeating to myself: THIS IS OKAY. THIS IS OKAY. My pants are going to be a little tighter right now and IT’S OKAY.

Social Media
Ugh. This is the worst one. Saying I’m going to “take a break from social media” is like saying I’m going to not spend $100 the next time I go to Target. It’s never going to happen. But I seriously waste SO MUCH TIME on social media. I frequently imagine the hours (LITERAL HOURS) I would gain to do some of the things I want to do if I just stopped mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. I’m honestly never going to quit it, but what I AM trying to do is to be more intentional about how much time I spend each time I open the app. I’ll give myself a 10 minute timer right after my kids go to bed, so that I can scroll and catch up for a bit and then I’m reminded to move on to something else like reading or sketching or hanging out with my husband.

Or I’ll simply remind myself to stop scrolling at the exact moment I notice that I’m not really finding anything interesting anymore- you all know this moment, right? Where you realize you’re scrolling and scrolling through Facebook but haven’t seen anything worth looking at in like 5 minutes? Or you realize how gradually you’ve started to feel more and more sad or anxious or hopeless? I know that’s the time to be done. Do I always leave? No. Like I said, I’m working on it. And you can too!

Pick a Thing
There’s one more helpful thing I’m doing to combat “Do It All Syndrome”- it’s very fancy and I call it “Pick a Thing.” Washing my face usually falls into one of those Tier-3 “Do It All” items for me with flossing every day, making my bed, and wishing people a Happy Anniversary; I feel like “OH MY GAAAAWWWD I’m supposed to remember to do THAT too?!?!” I do NOT wash my face every day, nor am I suggesting you should. BUT. On especially hard days where I get to the evening and everything feels like it SUCKED that day; when I feel like I hardly did anything productive and/or like so many things that need my attention are descending into chaos and/or like I don’t have control over my life- I stand in front of my bathroom mirror and do a five-minute skincare routine.

It always makes me feel better. Not because I’m checking off a “should.” But because I feel like I’m doing one little thing to take care of myself; something that gives me a little sense of control and can-do-ness. So I’d encourage you to just pick a thing. A small, simple thing you can come back to when you’re feeling the overwhelmingness of Do It All Syndrome. It always gives me a sense of “I can’t do everything, and I’m not even committing to doing this one little thing every single day, but I CAN do this one thing RIGHT NOW.”

First off: my maker friends, Emily and Michelle host the hilarious and helpful Pancake Town Podcast for makers (but also for anyone). They talk about different ways to improve your creative small business, but also murder and TV shows and how terrible people can be. It’s just delightful. And I got to be a guest on TWO EPISODES! One is already out and you can check it out here. The other is us talking about the enneagram and creative small businesses and will be out on July 9. Secondly: I have never in my life been an organized person. Ever. But a few months ago, I invested about $10 into this Budley earbud case and I can’t tell you how incredibly capable I feel every time I pull it out to wind up my headphones when I get to school pick-up. I dramatically flash it in front of everyone as I wind them up like, “Yeah. That’s right. I can keep track of my own headphones in my purse. They’re not even tangled. Or covered in mysterious goo.”

Thirdly: I used to, in my 20s and pre-social media, be very into journaling. It, like, kept me alive. But now it’s become another one of those vague “shoulds” in my life; one of the many things I add to my list-o-shame of things I wish I could stay on top of, but can’t. Enter my Dot Journal. I don’t write in this every day. Sometimes I don’t even write in it every month. But it’s there for me to be a brain dump in whatever capacity I need it. I like the dot structure versus lines because sometimes I like to write paragraphs or make lists, but sometimes I like to make illustrations; like, for example, an illustration of what seasonal depression feels like when I just can’t find the words. It’s been a nice thing (and a nice size) to just keep in my bag for whenever I need it. And finally: this past winter I went to a show where I finally got to meet Jen Hatmaker. She was joined by someone I had never heard of before, named Kelly Corrigan and we were all given a free copy of Kelly’s book Tell Me More during the pre-show meet and greet. I read the book within the next few weeks and was IMMEDIATELY filled with regret for not having read it BEFORE I got to meet Kelly Corrigan. People who are vulnerable and honest and funny about life being hard are MY KIND OF PEOPLE and Kelly’s book was one of the most beautiful, honest, and funny books about life I’ve ever read. I laughed SO LOUD and cried SO MUCH. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

I recently added a couple of new markets for the summer! The first is VERY short notice for you all, but I’ll be at a cute little event called Damen at Night this Friday from 5-9. There’ll be a bunch of small business pop-ups out on the sidewalk of Damen between Leland and Ainslie, in addition to all of the local small business along that street being open for an evening of shopping. I’ll also be back at Plumber’s Hall on August 10 from 11-5 for Made in Chicago Market. I had a blast last time I was there (and even made it onto WGN evening news)!

I’ve got high hopes and little childcare for Three Letter Birds summer projects, but I’m gonna try to stay optimistic and hope for the best! I’m going to be working on overhauling my website to give a more dynamic view of what I have to offer as an artist and a designer and to be able to promote more of my work and the little bits of press that I’ve gotten. I’m also looking at (finally) launching a wholesale program, so if you know of any cute local shops that my stuff would be a great fit for, send ‘em my way! And finally, and MOST EXCITINGLY, I’m looking to add to my Enneagram collection by this fall with 8x10 prints for each type. My hopes for the print addition to the collection are that they would be 1.) my own, original content, 2.) some kind of mantra/encouragement for each type, 3.) something you would be able to buy both for yourself and gift to others.

This BlogPost is actually
an archived version of my monthly newsletter!

Subscribers receive this super fun content
in their inbox every month
PLUS
A FREE download of something adorable and fun
EVERY SINGLE MONTH!

If you’d like IN on the fun,
make sure to sign up for my emails BELOW!